Growth

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Hello, my lovely AA brothers and sisters! I just wanted to blog real quick about an experience I am having that I would not have if I did not have all of you wonderful people helping me and supporting me in my recovery. I am currently in Arkansas (being here in a supportive roll) for my girlfriend while her mother is in the hospital. Before I write about this sober experience I need to put out there several things: 1) the Big Dipper is HUGE out here! 2) this town is a bunch of farms 3) they have no Starbucks 4) I haven’t seen a single person of non-white skin 5) all the straight girls have mullets…WTF? It is a little like the Twilight Zone, but it’s also neat. Outside my window is a chicken coop and I fed a calf earlier tonight (see above picture). Two miracles have occured. One is that I have yet to step in a pile of manure and two is that this entire time I’ve been able to be a solid presence for my girlfriend and her family. During my drinking days…yeah, sure, I did stuff like this, but I was always seeking out time to drink. Today, all I am doing is seeking out ways that I can be of maximum help to her and her family during this critical time. I show love, patience, kindness, and willingness in a way that is not self-serving. Never in my drinking was I able to be fully present for someone else – I was just too engulfed in my alcoholism! No matter how genuine my intention was, during my drinking I never-ever-ever was able to give of myself like this. Although it is literally my flesh and soul that is in Arkansas, all the credit of my behavior goes directly to the program, the Fellowship, and…well, and my cats. What?? Did you think I wasn’t going to mention my preciouses?! Ha ha! Okay…so it goes also to my Higher Power. Okay, I gotta get back to farm livin’! Yee-haw!

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